Pride
Hello, hey, hi!
I hope your month is going as great as mine! Mentally I’m in a great place and the creative space I’ve cultivated is thriving! I’m back with a bonus June post because it’s PRIDE!!! I’m currently reeling from all the festivities and just all around high on life. Pride is more than a month of flaunting your sexuality. It’s about celebrating yourself and the community of people who dare to live outside of what used to be the norm. It’s about breaking stereotypes. It’s about loving yourself as you are. And it’s about providing safe places for people to be themselves. I am proud, black, and queer and I approve this message!
While we’re talking about gay shit, allow me to tell you a story about me not coming out when I could have. First, let me clarify. I am not closeted. However, I never had a coming out moment nor have I ever publically defined my sexuality and I don’t plan to. I date who I want and let people think what they want. Well, a few years ago I read an email at work that provided resources to students. The heading was bold LGBTQIA+ Resources. I was in a room with two other adults at the time and one happened to be my bestfriend. I said out loud in what I thought was a joking manner, “Wow every time I look up there are more letters! Which one am I?
To my surprise, the woman that was supposed to be my bestfriend responded, “You’re just an ally.”
Warren and I gave each other a look of understanding and I knew, she caught what I was throwing but somehow my bestie didn’t. So I pushed a little and asked, “Well if you don’t know what the letters mean, how can you know you’re not one of them?”
To which she answered, “You’re just a big supporter, you date men.” So I left it at that.
I could have easily set the record straight, I’m not. I could have taught her that just because you’ve known me to have boyfriends doesn’t mean I’ve never had girlfriends. I could have told her the alphabet mafia is a community based on more than sexuality. I could have informed her that non-binary and other gender-non-conforming beings are also included in the community. There are so many ways I could have used that as a teachable moment, but I didn’t. I stayed quiet. I let her continue to see me the way she wanted. It’s moments like this that make Pride Month so worth it. Because Pride is a month during which we choose not to stay quiet. It’s a time for us to feel seen as we are. To be celebrated in our most authentic forms.
I think part of the reason I stayed quiet is because I was a little ashamed that my so-called bestfriend didn’t know such a big part of what makes me me. I feel like even without an explicit conversation, it’s obvious I’m not the straightest arrow in the bunch. I didn’t realize that I would have to spell it out for her. I also didn’t want to. I like to think that she would’ve loved me no matter what but perhaps I was afraid to find out. We’re not super close anymore but I still consider her a dear friend. I never told her out right but I think over the years she caught on. If not, she knows now.
Head to the comments and tell me what you love most about PRIDE!!!!
Creatively yours,
Mx. Bee Confident, Open, Proud
